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Quotes of a Girl and a Pizza Place" Movie: "Two Guys
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[upon meeting Ashley] See anything you like? Ashley Walker: Wow, where you get that line? Because you need to give it back. Actually, we're engaged "in theory." Pete: Oh, that's great, congratulations. I'd explain it to Collette if I spoke French, and understood what you were talking about. Sharon Carter: Why is everyone having such a tough time with this? It's very simple - an engagement is a promise to be married. and I am promising to be engaged, which in theory is a promise to be married, hence we are engaged in theory. Johnny Donnelly: Good luck finding a card for that. I can't stand you. Ashley: I loathe you. Berg: I despise you. Ashley: I hate you. Berg: I can get us a room. Ashley: I can drive. Just because Pete brings her pizza doesn't mean he's delivering the sausage. Berg: I never... want to forget that you said that. | |
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[About his use of an asthma inhaler] You know how they say not to exceed the daily recommended dosage? Pete: Yeah? Berg: Well I'm the guy... who exceeds it so they know why they shouldn't. Melissa: What does he tell you about me? Berg: Everything. Melissa: Like what, everything? Berg: Like the first time he saw you, he said he actually felt his heart stop. Melissa: Really? Berg: And you... do a phenomenal Linda Ronstadt imitation. Melissa: Aww... Pete. Berg: And he hates sushi... but goes with you all the time because he knows you love it. Melissa: Why didn't he say anything? Berg: And you laugh like a mad scientist during sex. I don't like you being mad at me. Pete: I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me. Berg, I'm gonna be 25 and I don't even know where my life is - and the one good thing I had, I messed up. When my dad was my age, he had a house, he had a wife, he had me. I mean, what do I have? Berg: You have the ability to suck the life out of an evening. Irene, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you handle never winning. Go like this. [pretending to get something out of her teeth] Berg: [picking his teeth] What, do I have something in my teeth? Ashley: No, now go away. I'm twenty-five, why are you telling people I'm thirty? Berg: You get better presents. Hi, my name is Berg... and I'm addicted to messing with Pete. Just remember that my eye drop experiments paid for that sofa. Pete: Berg, what color would you say that sofa is? Berg: I dunno... blue? Well, a strong enough wind could blow it right over. Pete: [laughs] What, are you kiddin' me? You're a med student. What the hell do you know about architecture? Ashley: Well, my father's an architect. Pete: Yeah, well, my mother's a woman, but that doesn't mean I understand them. Sharon: It's true, he really doesn't. Sharon doesn't want to rush into marriage and make the same mistakes that her mother did. Berg: Oh ,yeah, that's it. Sharon: That *is* it. Berg: I said, "Oh yeah that's it." So, your mother hates Johnny. Sharon: No, my mother loves Johnny. Berg: So, she loves Johnny too much. Sharon: No, my mother's been married three times. Berg: And once to Johnny! Berg, what you need is a little reenactment. Sharon? Would you like to play the part of Ashley? Sharon: Oh, yes... no... yes... no. [to Pete] Sharon: I'm getting into character. Berg, I'm just not cut out to be a good person. Berg: I know. That's why the Lord gave us good looks. You know not with whom you mess. Aww, you like Irene! Berg: [pretending he doesn't] *You* like Irene! Ashley: It's OK, Berg. Some people actually think it's a good thing to like the person you're making love to. Berg: We are not making love! We're having sex! We're having dirty, dirty sex! Berg, you can't sleep in my bed, people talk enough as it is. Go sleep on the couch. Berg: I can't sleep on the couch. Last week I spilled milk on it and for some reason it smells bad. Pete: So go sleep on the floor! Berg: I can't sleep on the floor. Pete: Why not? Berg: For some reason there's a trail of ants leading to the couch. Y'know, Turner and Hooch were talking earlier, and they said something very intriguing. Pete: Don't quote your shoes. Berg: "Stay close to the leader, or the race is lost." Pete: What do you think they meant by that? Berg: No idea. I'm gonna take them for a walk in the park, try and get it out of them. Sharon hasn't been around all week, so I couldn't score stamps. Pete: Oh. Oh, well listen... I'll give you the name of her connection -the post office! Ashley: What am I doing here? Sharon: According to the Bible, to balance out "good." Ashley, if you're here, who's running hell? Oh, run away, you bimbos, the killer's right behind you! Don't turn around. Don't... start making out with the other girl. I know who you did last summer. Cute guys. | |
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